Late night thoughts?

So this post is coming off the back of some strong feelings in my chest after watching the show Delhi Crime on Netflix. If you've read some of my previous posts, you'd know that I'm not particularly great at phrasing or organizing my thoughts clearly or coherently so I apologize in advance if this is slightly all over the place.

Delhi Crime is a re-enactment of the 2012 bus gang rape, mutilation and robbery in Delhi as the title says. I had seen the show icon on Netflix and had added to my list but totally forgot about it as time went on. I also wasn't actually aware of what the plot was. My friends, however, had recommended it to me recently and told me that it was about this particular event, which immediately convinced me to go and watch it. The show was heart-wrenching and I can't believe what the victim went through throughout her ordeal. I only hope she rests in peace now.

What this show really reminded me about was of the crimes that are occurring not only in Delhi but all over the world. It disgusts me to think that there are men looking to abuse their position of power to take advantage of innocent, harmless women and even girls. And this is me talking from my point of view - I can't even imagine what it feels like to be a woman, having to worry every single second about her safety.

I just want to talk about a few recent events that coincided with me watching the show Delhi Crime over 3 days - crucially, this highlights the pain, embarrassment and insecurity that women go through every single day. In that matter of 3 days I hear of 3 different cases which I would talk about in the following paragraphs. (I would like to emphasise that I'm really really sad and heart-broken of the state of women and the torture that they have go through everyday in general)

1) Monica Baey and her fight for reform!
I have so much admiration for Monica and her battle for reform in her university, NUS wherein her perpetrator - who was caught filming her showering - was only slapped with a mere 12-month conditional warning. This incident blew up only a few days ago but it actually occurred in November of last year and throughout this period Monica has kept quiet in the belief that the system (SPF and NUS) wouldn't let her down. However, with a seeming track-record to hush down such incidents, NUS decided not to punish the perpetrator 'too harshly' once again and only suspended the student. As I'm typing, he's already managed to get a job to keep him occupied during this period. Monica, however, is not simply letting this be! She's fighting for reform in how NUS handles such sensitive events through an established act/paper which is to be regarded as strict protocol. Her story gained traction through her personal Instagram stories and has now reached numerous local and even international media outlets. I, for one, am very proud of the way Monica has handled herself throughout this process. Firstly, having gone through a traumatic event, she holds herself in such a composed and brave manner even in the midst of comments against her. Secondly, she fully abided by the system and kept quiet about this issue. Thirdly and more importantly, despite this event potentially being very embarrassing for her in light of traditional perspectives on women in general, Monica is fighting for reform against the system when she knew that it finally let her down. I feel that this third point in general is really important for all of us, not just women. I don't think it's easy at all to fight for action and even as a man, I would be scared to mount such force in my claims. Simply speaking, I would be so scared to oppose an established system/unit etc. even if I were to be in the right. So, as a victim of a sexual crime, Monica is being extremely brave in calling for improved action! I salute her for that and hope that there would indeed be reform!

2) My second event is actually going to be a few events actually, but it's based on sexual crimes in traditional countries. You see the rise of sexual-related crimes in India

2.1
and recently, there was also the case of a burning of a victim of a sexual crime by students I believe, who were in support of the teacher who did that act on her. In these traditional societies, it is deemed to be the ladies' fault if something were to happen to her and a lot of shame and blame falls on her. With that in mind, this 18 year old student still bravely went to the police station to make a report and when she was put on fire, her last few words after that was that she would fight to get her teacher convicted. This honestly got me really sad and irdk what to say about the world and men in positions of power sometimes. Simply put, men are trash...

2.2 Another incident that I recall was the rape and murder of Aasifah a 8 year old girl in some northern province (UP I believe) in India. Wow that really really angered, saddened and shocked me all at once. This was a racially motivated incident but that doesn't take away the fact that 7-8 men raped a 8 year old inside a temple for around 7-8 days. And these men also have sisters and daughters omg... I was honestly shocked beyond words and I don't know how they can do this to an innocent, defenseless little girl. The pains that she must have been through... and the guilt that the parents must carry... Gosh I just want to say this should never happen to anyone at all. This is not at all permissible and is an act done by animals not humans. Sex without consent is not sex! It is rape, plain and clear and men should know the limit no matter who you are, what position you hold and where you are!

3) My friends have been through such acts as well and I hope to God those guys go through hell both before and after death. But on a lesser note, besides crimes itself, we as men need to ensure that we always make a woman feel safe wherever she may be. This entails not talking in lewd manners towards your female friends/colleagues/subordinates (this seems to on the rise and commonly accepted as normal? in Singapore in my personal opinion). It also means that when you're shooting your shot (asking a girl out on a date), you should not be too forceful in asking for her number or other details. If the lady is uncomfortable, please just leave her alone!

What I want to highlight from these 3 different incidents are the different extremes of worries that women have every single day. We, as men, need to do better. Imagine your mother, sister or girlfriend being worried everyday that her uncle, her father, her teacher, her boss or co-worker might take advantage of her if she lets her guard down. Imagine if we as men had to worry about this every single day. I would lose my mind in all this fear and anxiety. So, please, to all men out there - put yourselves in the shoes of women and others in general. Would you be comfortable if someone did what you were doing to them if you were a female? Would you feel scared if someone forcefully asked for your number? The answers are definitely yes so please don't put women through that as well.

I hope and pray to God that such heinous crimes never occur again. And I hope that men would stop each other from crossing the line. These are just some of my really messy thoughts...